As a Neuro-Linguistic Practitioner and mBit Coach I observe people a bit more closely and I’m finding it extremely concerning how the lack of connection between people is really affecting us, both individually and as a society. 

I worry about our children – how will they ever bounce back from this? The lack of connection will affect their relationships and friendships entirely, COVID-19 has created a massive ripple effect throughout the entire world, simply because we’ve stopped touching one another, stopped hugging the people we love, and stopped laughing with friends and family.

During another lock-down day, this Sunday afternoon was the Manchester United V Liverpool  football game. We (Jamie and I) got ourselves ready, armed with beer and snacks hoping for a win. This was a really important game, as it always is between these 2 rivals, but at the minute we’re fighting for that place at the top of the Premiership Table. Mid-way through, I found myself in a bit of a trance. I usually watch the game with excitement, hoping for a few goals from the Manchester boys and none from the other team, plus watching men run around in shorts is obviously an added bonus! Although, this time, I was observing their behaviour. 

It was Jamie who sparked my trance after he commented “I don’t know what’s going on with Trent Alexander-Arnold, he was amazing last season but this year he’s just shit!”. 

I then thought to myself that they all actually look different, their mood was low, and somehow I felt that they were afraid and lost! 

Is this bloody pandemic affecting these young lads, also? Of course it is!! 

Thinking about things from a NLP and mBraining perspective, it became clear that these players would seriously struggle. Not just our Manchester lads but all footballers! They heavily rely on their fan’s chants and cheers for their confidence, a ground filled with energy and emotion for adrenaline bursts. The life-long fans, the kid’s watching their favourite players, the mum’s bums on seats and the smell of the hot dogs & onions moving around the stadium is probably what they’ve been dreaming about and working towards for their entire lives. 

Yes, yes! I can hear all the ‘well they get paid a shit-load of money to perform well’ and ‘they’re doing the job that they love’ rants… I agree! But they’re still human beings, with human emotions. We have no idea why they’re feeling like this, infact they probably don’t even know why either, especially as they’re getting paid to do the best job in the world (if you love football). What I do know is that we all see, feel and think of the world very differently. We all have different experiences which are all embedded into our subconscious, this then affects our emotions in our conscious world, which we have no control of, unless you’ve been shown how to.

Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) helps us to understand human behaviour by observing how we’re taking information from our conscious world into our internal Neurology. This then interacts with our thoughts, feelings and behaviour, which either has a positive or negative effect on us as individuals. Increased performance, on or off the pitch, is possible when we’re less affected by external influences and when we gain control of our subconscious thoughts. This leads to mental freedom, empowered responses and deliberate interactions with fellow team players.

Similarly, and looking at this from a deeper perspective, there are Multiple Braining (mBraining) factors that can be considered. The new field of mBraining tells us that we have functional brains not only in our head, but also in our heart and gut. Also, scientific evidence is emerging that these neural networks exhibit intelligence and wisdom. 

Let’s think about this.. remember a time when you’ve been screaming “COME ON!!” at your favourite player because ‘his head had fallen off” or ‘his heart isn’t in the game’’ or ‘he’s lost his guts’? Have you really thought about what these expressions mean? Where do you believe these sayings come from? Even though you think they don’t make any sense, you can feel the meaning behind them, subconsciously. Not only that, you are also subconsciously aware of which ‘brain’ is out of alignment. When the neurology within our head, heart and gut is out of alignment, our inner emotions affect the way we behave, whether you like it or not. We experience inner conflict within ourselves, between your thoughts, feelings and actions, resulting in not acting on goals & targets, or finding it difficult to make a decision. 

So, back to the point where Jamie made that off the cuff comment about that Liverpool player, Trent, I was sitting there thinking about how all of this could be negatively affecting the way he plays and performs. Maybe he’s all about the sound, meaning he needs the chants and cheers from his fans to feel the amazing adrenaline inducing atmosphere that can only be gained from a stadium full of singing fans! If i’m right, then Trent is Auditory dominant. Or maybe he’s pushed massively out of alignment, as have most of the population (thanks to COVID-19), because of feelings of uncertainty, lack of safety, and loneliness (lack of love). When we feel that there is a threat the gut sends a signal which forces us into protection mode, that can often immobilise you or even fill you with self-doubt, which is exactly what could be happening to many of our football heroes.

Now that I’ve pondered over this for a few hours, I’ll certainly be watching the lock-down games through very different eyes, and with much more understanding and compassion, as I will in my day-to-day life at home and in the office (kitchen table for now). This is affecting us all in ways that we’ll never know and for many, life will never be the same again.

What I do know is how fascinating it will be to watch the first game post-lockdown! A game full of cheering, singing, laughing and togetherness! Our football players racing towards their fans as they can feel the buzz, connection and passion, exactly as it should be. Now that’s a football match I’m looking forward to watching, regardless of what team is playing.